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Oh... So Why It Gotta Be Called Black Friday?!

Black Friday is the day following Thanksgiving Day in the United States, traditionally the beginning of the Christmas shopping season. On this day many U.S. retailers open very early, often at 5 a.m. or even earlier, and offer promotional sales to kick off the shopping season. Because Thanksgiving always falls on the fourth Thursday in November in the United States, the day after occurs between the 23rd and the 29th of November.

The day's name originated in Philadelphia, where it originally was used to describe the heavy and disruptive pedestrian and vehicle traffic, which would occur on the day after Thanksgiving. Use of the term began by 1966 and began to see broader use outside Philadelphia around 1975. Later an alternative explanation began to be offered: that "Black Friday" indicates the period during which retailers are turning a profit, or "in the black." 

All Hail Turkey Hitler

Hitler is back & he is no longer oppressing Jews... He has been demoted to oppressing dark meats. I don't speak German or Turkish, but the staff here at Keno's Corner has been able to add captions and translate Turkey Hitler's strategy for taking over Thanksgiving... ALL HAIL TURKEY HITLER!!!

C'mon PETA! Why You Hating On Turkey?!

First Mike Vick, now Thanksgiving PETA?! C'mon Son! Are we supposed to just have cornbread & collard greens for Thanksgiving PETA?! Nah son... cause then ima want some ham hock meat in it and then you gonna try to say that ham hocks is an endangered species. 

Don't Forget To Say Grace... Dear, 8 Pound 6 Ounce Baby Jesus...

If I get chosen to say the grace today this is the same grace that I'm going to say. Thank you Baby Jesus for this bountiful harvest.

Happy Thanksgiving From Kobe The Gay Pilgrim!

Dun... Dun... Duuuuuun... NOOooo Not The "Itis"!

Thanksgiving, an anticipated time for family gatherings, football game gazing and let’s not forget, the official dining of tender morsels of turkey and its delicious edible sidekicks.

It’s a meal that we tend to wait and prepare all year for. Sometimes even going through strenuous measures such as starving for a day to make sure one can squeeze in an extra two or three helpings and sporting those special occasion pants with the super stretchy waistband.

And after we devour as much as we can, we inevitably begin to feel a little sluggish. There may be a scientific term for the post- Thanksgiving drowsiness but many affectionately refer to this undeniable feeling as the “itis.”

For years, we believed that it was solely the consumption of turkey that would bring about a comatose feeling. Although, the ingredient, tryptophan is highly present in turkey and can cause one to pull out their emergency pillow and camp out on the couch, it is not the sole reason why we fall victim to the itis condition.

When we pile our plates pass capacity, we are consuming the amount of calories at one meal that we would normally spread throughout the day.

It is those excessive calories that causes the sleepy effect.

So, how do you avoid the post-Thanksgiving coma?

It’s quite easy yet some find it complex and rehensible because this is one of the few times of the year where it seems you have permission to pig out.

Eat breakfast and lunch. Think you’re doing a disservice to the cook if you don’t take a second helping of stuffing because you ate your other two daily meals earlier? Well, you will be doing yourself a huge disservice if you don’t. Consuming large quantities of body-reshaping calories at one sitting is detrimental to your health.

Another thing we tend to be guilty of is making promises that we probably won’t fulfill. Do any of these statements sound familiar?

“Tomorrow I’m walking an extra mile to work this off.”

“Oh, yeah. Definitely 30 more minutes at the gym tomorrow.”

“I’m going on a diet first thing Friday morning.”

“My Black Friday shopping will be my cardio.”

I’ve definitely said it before and I can count on one finger how many times I actually acted on it.

Change your mindset. Eat less that day and dine on the leftovers for as long as you can.

I would much rather enjoy my turkey dinner that evening, enjoy a turkey omelet the next morning, a turkey sub for lunch…you get the point.

Instead of eating to the point you can no longer hold your eyes open, eat sensibly and spend your awake hours playing catch up with relatives, listening to back in the day tales and cheer for your favorite team.

Is Kobe Bryant A Positive Role Model For Our Children?

It's no secret that I hate the Fakers... I mean... Lakers! It's also no secret that Kobe Bryant is a rapist! Now as I'm sitting here watching this Call Of Duty: Black Ops commercial filled with violence and destruction... Who else pops up on the screen with an assault rifle wearing the same clothes kids wear, but Kobe Bryant's dumb ass?! This game is rated M for mature audiences only, but when kids see Kobe Bryant on TV with an assault rifle grenade launcher, then they're gonna go shooting up somebody's school and say "Kobe made me do it!" I personally don't think he should have done the commercial, but I thought it was the coolest thing ever when I first saw it until I realized... "Hey! If I think this is cool... I wonder how many 14 year olds think this is cool also?!" I don't think it's wrong of him to be a fan of the game, but I do think he should have thought about the millions of children that look up to him and would see this commercial. Anyway doe... what do I know?! I'm just a guy with a blog! What do you all think?

I Ain't Saying Kobe Bryant Is Gay, But These Pictures Are Suggesting It!

Now you all know I hate the Lakers and you think the stuff I say is just because I be hating on the Kobe and the Lakers. Now you have to admit that these pics are kind of gay. Nah fuck that... These are hella gay. Kobe has taken borderline gay pictures his whole career and I think from all of the dicks in the butt, he has elevated his talents to a whole new level. I think when he got punched in the neck by Chris Childs he had an epiphany. I'm sorry Laker fans, but Kobe is gayer than a pink $3 bill... "HATED IT!"

What Happened To Teenage Jesus?!

The Biblical account of the life and teachings of Jesus, covers the periods in his life from birth to age 12…and from age 30 to his crucifixion. This leaves 18 years, the major part of his life, unaccounted for. What was Jesus doing from age 13 to age 29? Was he the captain of his high school football team or the President of the Chess club? Did Jesus have a girlfriend? Did he go to college? We have all done things in our teenage years that we don't want anyone to know about, but we just don't erase them out of the history books. 

The Dead Sea Scrolls span the lifetime of Jesus Christ, but fails to mention the part about "Teenage Jesus". It was said that Christ lived in India during those 18 years of his life that were unaccounted for, but doesn't really elaborate on what he was doing. Do you know any references that theorize the whereabouts of Jesus & if not... What do you think Jesus was doing?!

Yo No Quiero Taco Bell!

I've been to eleventy million different Taco Bells in my life and I can honestly say I have never seen a hispanic person working there. You would think with Taco Bell claiming to be south of border cuisine that they would have workers to compliment their atmosphere. Here in Florida, the company's current slogan "Think outside the box!" doesn't translate well into Spanish, so on the local Spanish speaking stations which are geared more toward the hispanic community, the company uses the slogan, "No solo de pan viva el hombre", which translates to "Man does not live on bread alone". Hispanics say that the problem is that the menu does not contain real items that remind them of home. I feel that... Now I know I love me some Taco Bell! I always get 2 chalupas, a chicken quesadilla, and a soft taco. The drinks there suck though, so I always make me a big jug of Kool-Aid once I get home. What do you think about Taco Bell, the items on the menu, and the people who work there not being hispanic?

#UnfollowFriday #TeamUnfollowback #JustUnfollow

It has come to my attention that people will actually get #MelGibsonMad if you unfollow them on twitter. Well damn... cause I thought this was a free country and that Abraham Lincoln told us that us was free and can follow and unfollow whoever we please. Lots of times I say offensive things on twitter because I know that it will push the buttons of certain people. If I piss off at least 1 person a day then my mission has been accomplished #KanyeShrug. If the fact that I hate Kobe "the white girl rapist" Bryant or the fact that I think Wale cant rap offends you, then you definitely need to take a trip to "Who gives a fuck?! It's my opinion and not yours" Land! I have a free ticket for you right here! *extends middle finger* This is your chance to rant about stupid things on twitter that stupid people do... govern yourselves accordingly in the comments section.

Mistah F.A.B. Hit Me on Twitter Official Video... SHABBA!!!

Mistah F.A.B. made the first twitter song that actually made me wanna do the "Early 90s Shabba Ranks 2 fingers in a clockwise circular motion while leaning back" dance. Let's say twitter was superman and this was its super hero theme song... Yuhp. Enjoy!!!

Twista Hooks Up With Killa Cam To Make One Of The Funniest Twitter Songs I Have Ever Heard

YouTube is full of songs about twitter, but the spirit put it in my heart to expose you all to this one in particular. Twista & Killa Cam have joined forces to create a song called "Follow You On Twitter", which is basically a song about people who lurk or twitter stalk. Just listen to the damn song and you'll see what I mean.

What If Barack Obama Was The President Of The USA & A Rapper?

"I'M THE HEAD OF THE MUTHAFUCKIN' STATE NIGGA!" -Baracka Flocka Flame

SNL Parodies Christine O'Donnell's "I'm Not A Witch" Ad

This had to be the funniest SNL skits I have ever seen. I was drinking a beer and spit it all over my bed after it aired. Prepare to laugh your dicks off...

Christine O'Donnell: I Am Not A Witch Campaign Ad

This message was approved by Christine O'Donnell and the Republican Party in an attempt to negate the accusations of her being a witch.

Christine O'Donnell: Republicans For Witchcraft

Christine O'Donnell was a candidate for the Republican Party in Delaware this year. She was accused of practicing witchcraft when she was younger. Well... history has shown that women from the 13 colonies have an ancestry for this kind of unusual activity. At one point there were angry towns people with pitchforks, clubs, torches, and rope. U better run Christine they hang witches like it's slavery time in Delaware.

The Rent Is Too Damn High on SNL

More laughter at the expense of Jimmy McMillan. Keenan Thompson from Saturday Night Live does a great job of impersonating Jimmy McMillan. Enjoy your breffuslunchandinnah!!!

The Rent Is Too Damn High Party

This is actual footage from the NY Governor Debate. All I can say is... "THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH!"

"The Rent Is Too Damn High"

I usually don't choose sides when it comes to politics, but I think Jimmy McMillan replaces the Dos Equis guy for the title of "The Most Interesting Man In The World". Strangely, I wish he would have had more support. Most politicians are naive puppets anyway. Why not enjoy having someone lie to you huh?! Come to think of it... My rent is too damn high also. I'M MAD!!! *rips off shirt*

The Tigers Of Death Valley Held Off The Mighty Tide!

As much as I wanna hate on LSU, I can't help but to applaud their awesome 21-24 performance today against the talented Alabama team. McElroy's 1st Quarter interception along with his 2nd half fumble came back to haunt them as LSU won by only a field goal. Alabama fans are extremely cocky and now face the fact that we just aren't that good of a football team. They will not be going to the BSC championship, but can go to a good bowl, but who cares about those other bowls?! Excuse me while I go slit my wrists and bleed out... "GOOD-BYE CRUEL WORLD!"

The Ghost Of Michael Jackson Is Still Making Music.

Sony and the camp of Michael Jackson announced that they will be releasing the album "Michael" on Decmber 14, 2010. The first single is called "Breaking News" and will be streamed on the website http://www.michaeljackson.com starting this Monday for a week. This album will feature recently mastered tracks that Michael Jackson had been working on before his death in 2009. Somebody cue the "Thriller" music cause MJ is still alive!!!!

DAAAaaaammmn Bron Bron... You Just Gonna Let Cleveland go HAM on You Like Dat?!

Nike launched the Lebron James "What should I do?!" commercial approximately 2 weeks ago. Well, the city of Cleveland, Ohio thinks they know exactly what he should do. Now ya'll know im not usually a messy person, but ummm... Lebron... Cleveland said "YO MAMA SO OLD... THAT HER SSN IS 3!" That's just what I had heard that they had said though.

Plan C: Birth Control Lotion... No Ashy Babies For Me!

Well... Obviously... You can't get pregnant cause Suave & Jergens is about to start making birth control. Yea... So does that mean if I masturbate with it then sex will be extra safe?! "MESSAGE!" The manufacturers of this new contraceptive claims that there is no side-effect. The product called "Nestrogel" works by delivering nesterone and natural estrogen that act as a barrier to ovaries that release eggs each month. So, basically... the lotion is a cockblocking, ash eliminating machine. "Hasta La Vista Baby!"

Hide Ya Kids, Hide Ya Wives, & Hide Ya Husbands Cause Grambling Booing Ehhbody Off The Stage!

Charlie Murphy was featured at Grambling State University's comedy show. While rambling on and on with some long drawn out joke, the audience became restless. Charlie Murphy was in the middle of a circus joke when he was attacked by "boos"! The only thing missing was tomatoes flying from the audience. He then said "FUCK YOU!" and dropped the mic like he had just spit the tightest freestyle ever spit.