Wednesday, December 15, 2010

My Santa Claus Is Black & I'll Be Got Damn If My Rims Ain't Too!

        Willie Earl Claus was facing charges for home invasion, but all charges were dropped when all witnesses of the robbery mysteriously disappeared. His record was expunged and he was able to get a job as a mechanic at a local shop. He then began to volunteer at the local YMCA as a basketball coach for troubled youth. Every Christmas he would get the children toys if they were good. His kids by all of his "Ho Ho Hoes" and baby mamas would make the toys for the children. Willie Earl then realized that he enjoyed bringing joy to the hearts of people in his gang infested black community and would like to do that for all of the little kids around the world. Willie Earl Claus then hopped in his Delta Eighty-Eight and drove straight home to let his current baby mama, "Shemeka Claus", know about his brilliant idea! Shemeka wasn't too thrilled about spending her foodstamps and WIC on a bunch of crumb snatchers that she didn't even know, but after Willie Earl layed that North Pole on her in the bedroom she was like "Ok daddy"!
        Willie Earl Claus, Shemeka, & all of his kids moved North to an undisclosed location, but i'm pretty sure it was like Queens New York or some shit like that! Willie Earl bought a Cadillac sleigh bed WIT SOME D's On DAT BITCH to haul all those toys in, but he didn't have the anything to pull his sleigh yet cause he was still waiting on his FEMA check to come through. After his FEMA check came, Willie Earl bought some magic pit bulls from Mike Vick to lead his leigh around the world. With his past experiences with home invasions it was easy for Willie Earl Claus to break into homes and leave presents instead of taking them this time. He was now ready to run for the new Santa Clausial Office in 2008. He would be the 1st black Santa Claus in office. Willie Earl was no go for the new Santa Claus so he changed his name to Barak OSanta.